Tripp (A Story About a Dog)
I buried my dog recently. His name was Tripp. We had to put him down. Tripp developed a litany of health issues as he got older, from growths on his gums, to bad arthritis, and eventually seizures multiple times a day. All but our youngest went to be by his side during his final minutes at the vets. When we got home we gave him a funeral. As we knew this was coming I had a grave prepared days in advance. We chose a nice spot in our yard. After he was covered, we created a little flower bed out of river rocks the kids collected. Then when it was time for the funeral, we went out to the grave as a family and all shared our favorite Tripp stories. We then all sprinkled wildflower seeds on the spot while I played the Tom Petty song of the same name. When I told a friend all this, they acted surprised that we would go to such lengths for a dog. The ironic part is this friend is absolutely insane about their cats. Her reaction, not to mention much reflection on my dogs passing, got me thinking all about the idea of having pets.
Why do we create such bonds with our pets? This was one of the things I couldn’t get out of my head. It’s not like I haven’t experienced this before. I’ve had dogs I’ve had to put down. I very purposefully tried to prepare myself and my family for the inevitable ending to Tripp’s story. Even with all that, I was an emotional wreck for days after we buried Tripp. Every time I turned around in my house I saw something that reminded me of him. Everyone else seemed to take it better than me, even though I was the one who was trying to be emotionally ready for his end. I think it was because Tripp was my dog. Some dogs bond with a particular family member, and Tripp bonded with me. When younger he’d always follow me around the house. When older, and he couldn’t follow me as easily, he’d have a high pitched bark he’d use specifically to get my attention if I ever left him somewhere too long. It was impossible for me to ignore that bark for too long and he knew that. I was the person in the family who originally wanted an english bulldog. In truth I’ve wanted one ever since my college days. I was also navigating some life issues when I got him. Maybe he sensed all that or maybe it was because I was the one who fed him and walked him the majority of the time when he was younger. Either way, Tripp and I bonded and became as close as a human and dog can be.
Tripp wasn’t just a dog, he had a unique personality. Some of it stemmed from his breed. He was very stubborn when he didn’t want to do something. Much of it was unique to him. He always wanted to be around people. He seemed to enjoy attention and absolutely loved food. Tripp was ok if I was in a bad mood and he seemed to celebrate with me if I was in a good mood. He was a great sounding board when we were hanging out together in my office or on walks. I think this personality, or more so our ability to read this personality is one of the reasons why we do create deep attachments to our animals. The same can be said for my friend, I referenced earlier. We can refer to her as The Crazy Cat lady, which isn’t really that insulting as she refers to herself as that quite often. She has multiple cats. She has internet connected cameras that she uses to check in on her cats when she’s not home. She posts photos of her cats on social media platforms. She’s even broken off long term human relationships because of a perceived slight when her cats were in their care. I can easily see where she’d also be a wreck when her various cats pass. Also, I’m sure she will want to give her cats a peaceful and pain free end as well as a respectful final resting place.
If you stop and think about it, Pets aren’t really a good idea on paper. They can cost a good deal of money to acquire and keep. Pet food can be expensive over time. I was in for about $30 a month in food, not counting treats. For me this was roughly $4,000 just in dog food over Tripp’s lifespan. You are limited in what you can do when you have a pet. The world is ok when we bring our kids with us to different places, but is still not nearly as pet-friendly as many pet owners would like. Typically I’d have to put Tripp at a kennel everytime I’d go on a vacation. That’s a multi-hundred dollar bill two to three times a year. Thankfully, the world is becoming more pet-friendly over time. Possibly the biggest issue of all is the health care needs. Because healthcare insurance for pets is a very niche thing, most healthcare is paid out of pocket. Pets can have virtually every type of ailment that a human can. Thankfully, every type of treatment available to a human is also available to our animal. Although outside the scope of this article, the whole veterinary industry is a perfect example of what human healthcare would look like, and cost, if we didn’t have the human health insurance industry.
Even with the much lower cost of pet healthcare relative to human care, I know from my experience with my dogs over the years, it still can become a bottomless money pit. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on surgeries and vet specialists for former pets. I know several people who’s animals got cancer and went through chemo and radiation to the tune of many thousands of dollars. In nearly all cases, all the money did was buy a little extra time. Ironically this is another area that helps reinforce the bond we have with our pets. If pets have the similar ailments and treatments as humans, it’s easier to see them as comparable to humans and as a result many of us treat them as such.
In my article the Pet Relationship Lifecycle I made the point that getting a pet is now almost an expected part of young relationship milestones. I also discussed the challenging costs of pets, which I have reiterated above. What I didn’t go into great detail about is how our pets in these relationships are like trial children. The pets are a way for young couples to start working out shared values relating to care and shared responsibilities. Of course for this to work, there has to be an emotional connection that is akin to those emotions you would feel for a child. This only works because it’s easy to project these emotions onto our animals.
Ultimately, In many ways, pets are like humans in one very core aspect of our existence: Emotions. We feel emotions towards them, and by their actions and interactions with us, it’s easy to believe they have feelings towards us. I, for one, almost wish I didn’t have these emotions where my dog was concerned. I could have dispassionately put him down and went on with my day. But if that were the case then my dog wouldn’t have been one of my best friends, they would have been something akin to a piece of moving furniture in my house. A roomba that leaves fur around rather than picking it up. Tripp was not that. He was my buddy who was always there when I needed him. There were thousands of, admittedly one sided, conversations I had with my dog about things that I had on my mind. I know he didn’t understand me, but I do believe he wanted to hang out and listen to the sound of my voice. There was excitement in him when I would come home from being away and annoyance out of him when I’d wake him up from a nap to go on a walk. It’s for all these reasons, and many others that I’ll miss Tripp’s presence for years to come. I’m not alone, there are uncounted pet owners who feel the same way about their pets and who also feel great loss when they have to say goodbye to a pet who has reached the end of their natural life.
Writing this article is part of how I’m dealing with my grief. I know time will also help. Even as years go by, I know a little bit of that feeling of loss will always be there for Tripp, and for all the pet’s I’ve had. I guess that feeling of loss is the best part of all this. I know that if for the rest of my life some part of me is missing Tripp, then that means there will be a little bit of his spirit that I’ll always have with me. It won’t be the whole stubborn, slobber filled, snoring, and gassy english bulldog that had to be next to me whenever I was in the house, but it will be something and for that I will be forever grateful.
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